I originally got sent this (or something very similar) whilst working at a large corporation.
Assmosis – The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Blamestorming – A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Chainsaw Consultant – An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
CLM (Career Limiting Move) – An ill-advised activity. “Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.”
Cube Farm – An office filled with cubicles.
Dead Tree Edition – The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms.
Dorito Syndrome – The feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. “I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I’ve got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome.”
Egosurfing – Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one’s own name.
Gray Matter – Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms trying to appear more professional and established.
Idea Hamsters – People whose idea generators are always running.
Irritainment – Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
Keyboard Plaque – The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on some people’s computer keyboards.
Mouse Potato – The online generation’s answer to the couch potato.
Ohnosecond – That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you’ve just made a terrible error.
Percussive Maintenance – The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Prairie Dogging – When something loud happens in a cube farm, causing heads to pop up over the walls trying to see what’s going on.
Salmon Day – The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. “God, today was a total salmon day!”
Seagull Manager – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.
Starter Marriage – A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
Stress Puppy – A person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny.
Swiped Out – An ATM or credit card that has been used so much its magnetic strip is worn away.
Umfriend – One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, “this is Dale, my…um…friend.”
Under Mouse Arrest – Getting busted for violating an online service’s rule of conduct. “Sorry I couldn’t get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest.”
Vulcan Nerve Pinch – The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.
Xerox Subsidy – Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.
